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what intentional tort are you?

i've been trying to hard not to make a quiz about law. really. it's been a valiant effort. i've lasted almost two months.

hey, at least this might encourage laypeople to look up "tort" in the dictionary.

oh god. i'm so sorry this quiz exists. believe me. i'm infinitely sorrier than you are.



your friend just made you very angry. she called you a dummy. you:

hit her.
move to hit her and change your mind at the last minute.
go sit in front of her house and refuse to move until she apologizes.
lock her in a closet until she apologizes.
pee in her car.
take her cd collection and trade them all in for really bad cd's at a local music store.
spread really nasty rumors about her and turn everyone else you know against her.


what word most accurately describes you?

violent
blundering
stubborn
controlling
petty
crafty
vindictive


rate how aggressive you are on a scale of one to ten.

10
8
3
7
2
4
5



what's your ideal job?

gang member
bouncer
real estate agent
prison warden
shopkeeper
magician
television journalist


what are you good at?

anything athletic
intimidating people
decorating rooms. and travelling.
keeping everything in its place
collecting things. i'm also good at breaking collectibles, though.
buying clothes and then altering them to make just them my own style
the social realm.



what are you bad at?

keeping my hands to myself
making people love me instead of fearing me
staying in one place.
babysitting. kids hate me because i never let them run around the neighborhood.
keeping items i borrow from getting broken or ruined.
remembering which things are mine and which things are my friends'
being nice.


where do you or did you go to college, or where do you want to go to college?

a big football school, like penn state.
a competitive, serious, academic school, like university of chicago
anywhere...i think i'll end up transferring, no matter where i go
brigham young, or another religious school with strict social policies.
NYU
i don't need to go. i can just take my friend's diploma and tell people it is mine.
college? pshaw. i just want to go to law school, specifically at emory.



what do you order at a bar?

beer
gin and tonic
no matter what i get, i get so much of it that i stay until the bar closes and they have to kick me out.
enough shots of vodka to make me brave enough to talk to a hot stranger... and talk...and talk... while they are in a corner and i am blocking the exit. ha!
nothing. i steal sips of my friends' drinks.
nothing. i usually swipe my friend's drink and pretend i am the one who bought it, so he has to go get another.
a cosmo.