ever wonder if you smell bad?
you might.
uh oh. you'd better take my quiz to find out. eep.

you just woke up in the morning. what does your bed smell like?

frog diarrhea.
sweat and the dull stench of humanity.
my laundry detergent, my shampoo.
a wide field of wild daises.


a pair of your dirty socks is lying on the floor. a dog is in the room. a dog who likes to play with socks. he:

dies on the sock-approach
attempts to play with the socks, but ends up curled in the corner, whimpering
predictably plays with the socks
sniffs the socks, and has several doggie orgasms


your last girlfriend or boyfriend:

are you kidding? i don't have those!
has a weird nasal disorder. he/she was unable to detect odors.
had nice hair.
always complimented me on my naturally occuring heavenly nosegay.


your smell is best described as a(n):

stench
odor
scent
aroma


if your smell were a baked good, it would be:

a beefcake.
a fruitcake
a chercake
a rubblecake



how do you feel about deodorant?

it's like trying to fight against a battalion of machine guns with a rubber band
it doesn't work so well with me
it's necessary
i've never needed to use it


your dirty underwear:

is a biohazard
is best kept in sealed plastic until laundry day
doesn't smell great, but hey, it's not that bad
need i say "wide field of wild daisies" again?

all material copyright laura podolnick 2002-2011