do you go to nyu? you're a type. i'll tell you which one.
do you not go to nyu? see what would happen to you if you did.

it's a friday night. you are:

drinking at a sports bar with all my friends. i hope i get laid. i bet i will. hee!
in my bathroom carving ancient druid symbols into my upper arm.
dancing at a club with all my friends, wearing one of those cool shirts that has no back! or front!
at a SHOW. referred to as a "concert" by the less-cool. rock!
crawling around onstage in a diaper screaming "marmalade. marmalade. marmalade." it's art.
doing homework. a lot of it. numbers. math.
melissa!


my outfit:

whatever is clean. sometimes, whatever isn't.
black. all black.
cost over 4,000 dollars.
a too-small band tshirt, dirty jeans, velcro shoes.
i made it myself! ...out of tin foil.
a suit. inconspicuous. successful.
fcuk!


my screen name:

has something to do with imbibing alcohol or smoking pot
has "666" in it.
has some variation of "cute" or "sexy" in it, as well as lots of numbers.
begins and ends with an X.
screen name? what is this "screen name?"
is my first initial and last name.
rhymes with itself!



my favorite band is:

pink floyd
siouxie and the banshees
whichever one my boyfriend likes?
i love anything emo!
radiohead
i only listen to classical music.
tool!


you have twenty dollars. how do you spend it?

beer. so much beer.
i put it in the "getting my chin pierced" fund
getting a new acrylic on my thumbnail.
3 used cd's.
making flyers advertising my next performance
i pay a mensan to do my difficult homework
on a cab to get home



there is a bad odor in your room. what is it?

dirty underwear, pot smoke, me...
a dead hamster. i sacrifice one daily.
clashing perfumes.
cigarettes and musty used clothing
paint or a glue product
me. i haven't showered for 3 days. i'm doing my homework.
i don't know, but it smells like cher...


your ideal mate:

anyone! i don't need to be picky, it will only last a night or two.
is dark. and foreboding. and tattooed.
has lots of money so i can buy things!
knows the name of every member of ever cool band to ever exist.
will understand that sometimes i need to devote myself to my art. and that sometimes that can take months.
will understand that sometimes i need to do my work. and that sometimes "sometimes" means "all the time."
has a journal now!



on tv, you watch:

football!!
videotapes of old vampire movies
sex and the city
m2
videotapes of myself
cnbc
buffy!




react to the word "penis":

i have one! want to play with it? i hope you are hot. oh boy!
i burned one down once.
wee! i can suck it! that is what i do!
is that a cool new band?
genitalia is so artistic
i've heard they can be useful. sadly, i do not know about this firsthand
...no, but i have a tail...



your dirty secret:

i've had chlamydia six times!
i really like to watch "full house" reruns.
...i got into nyu using other talents than academic ones, if you know what i mean and i think you do!
ireallyliketolistentoaceofbase.
fuck it... my favorite actress is britney spears
i like math. a lot more than you think i do. eep.
it's big and stinky