19 October 2005

Up until this year, my family and I went to Europe every summer. Every morning that we were there, I would be half asleep and half awake, my parents having gotten up way before me. It was cold in the hotel room, and I was cozy under my white fluffy sheets. There was always a coffee maker in the hotel room, whatever country we were in, and there was always fresh coffee brewing. CNN Europe was on, some news anchor with a British accent. So, the three elements of this memory:

  • cold
  • the smell of coffee
  • CNN Europe

    The memory wouldn't be complete with either of these elements missing, but the coffee is the strongest. I guess because smell memory is so powerful. It carries over into my memory of home, too, sometimes. When I wake up and I'm visiting my parents, I open my bedroom door and come down the stairs to the smell of coffee.

    I started drinking it in college. I hated it. It is deceiving, this coffee smell. It smells so much better than it tastes. Well, now I think it's terrific, but it took a while to get used to (kind of like red wine).

    Here is where the caffeine comes in. Caffeine has no effect on me. I went to a diner two months ago with a friend and had 5 or 6 cups of coffee while we were there. I fell asleep with no problem. I can drink a Diet Coke at 10pm and go to bed an hour later. But I still drink coffee when I am tired and feel like I need a recharge. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it's the whole societal thing... the established idea that you drink coffee to stay up or be awake. Sometimes it works when I drink it with the aim of staying awake. It has to be the whole placebo effect.

    Someone in my class is working on a campaign for a coffee brand, and I answered some questions for her based on my relationship to coffee and drinking coffee. I've also been on this juice detox for 3 days, and I'm feeling caffeine withdrawal. I'd have at least 2 cups of coffee a day, whether regular, latte or cafe au lait. I never thought this could happen, especially since caffeine doesn't effect me. But I guess it makes sense, because I was still ingesting it. Anyway, these two things made me think about coffee a lot and how I see it, and then that memory kept coming back to me (the "waking up in a hotel room in Europe" one).

    It's part of my morning ritual. My morning seems incomplete without coffee. I don't care if I make it or I get it at the coffee shop behind my school. It's almost like I need that smell and the taste (cream, no sugar), which I now love, and just the process of drinking it. I guess for me it's more of a psychological dependency than a physical one (even though I have a headache now). So, this is what I decided - decaf. I always thought it was wimpy or ridiculous to drink decaf coffee, but why not? Caffeine doesn't work for me, so I don't need it. But I do need the smell, taste, and ritual of morning coffee. decaf coffee - the perfect solution... why didn't I think of this before? By the end of my juice detox, the caffeine withdrawal will be gone, and I can start over. I hope Bustelo makes decaf. The Cuban restaurant near me serves the best coffee I've had in ths U.S., and it's Bustelo. oh, hope hope hope.