navigate using the subway map. | all material copyright laura podolnick 1998-2005. | made on a mac.
your fortune:

I probably hate you. If you want to know why without making me hate you more by asking me, take this quiz.

Let's assume we've never met, and you recognize me in a grocery store. You:

tap my shoulder and say "hello...i think i've seen your website."
walk right past me because you see some lord of the rings character shaped fruit chews on aisle 3.
run up to me and say "MEEP! I am your biggest fan!" and proceed to do a dance around me.
run me over with your shopping cart. on accident. and then it flips over.
pretend not to notice me--it's your patriotic duty to shun those who oppose bush.
do nothing, and continue to shop.



in high school, you:

closely followed the athletic teams and/or did student council
did ren fair
did drama, band, golf team, literary magazine, hair club for men, and/or other random activities.
were into cars and drove around a lot, and/or played football.
were a member of the young republicans
didn't do much work but got a's nevertheless


your ideal date involves:

dinner, wine, romance, maybe a walk on the beach.
watching a movie.
going to an arcade and a comic book store and a hamster shop! hee! a hamster shop!
going camping...in my SUV, of course.
golfing at the country club
a metrocard and a certain borough north of manhattan


pick a word:

hello
honor
squirrels
power
moral
cunt


on friday night, you can be found:

dancing, drinking, hanging out with friends at a bar or club
watching lord of the rings, reading lord of the rings, or writing fan fiction about lord of the rings
jumping up and down saying "SQUEEEE!" sixty times, and running away from my crazy uncle vincent, who eats kittens for lunch on thursday!
racing my friends in our cars, watching sports
reading the bible, listening to rush limbaugh on cd (you burned it), hating the indigent
singing cher songs.



sundays are for:

museums and white wine
tolkien conventions
making videos that star gerbils and kneesocks
long scenic drives
god. nobody better be active on the sabbath, hear?
hating


what do you think of my website, so far?

it's nice, i haven't looked at all of it.
you should adopt a different theme...maybe lord of the rings or something like that?
WHEEEEE!!!!! bounce bounce bounce! ZAP! :::is random:::
it's not as entertaining as sports, but it will do
you are sadly and misguidedly liberal
love!



what is your main criticism of me?

i don't understand your jokes...sometimes they seem a bit tasteless
how can you hate lord of the rings?!
that you don't write back to me! you're my idol! my battle cry is MEEP! HEE!
i bet you're a slow driver
your politics are stupid
none of the above