it sure is frustrating when you don't know what you're getting for christmas.

maybe i can help you figure it out.

what kind of present do you deserve?

a cute one
a MARVELOUS, STUPENDOUS, SUPERB one.
a sexy one.
a clean one.
a disgusting one.
a tasty one.


what can you tolerate the most?

puke.
nuclear waste.
goo.
a lemon-fresh scent.
a creepy old man.
sugar.


who is buying your present?

my boyfriend or girlfriend.
the best and most virtuous person on the planet.
the NYU AIDS club.
my roommate or parents.
someone who likes music too much.
some fatty.



What did you get last year?

A sweater
a book
perfume, soap, or makeup
money or a gift certificate
music or movies.
water.


how much money will be spent on you?

this is not a present that costs money.
maybe about 15 dollars, but it is worth so much more.
a buck fifty.
about $3.75.
sixty dollars.
one dollar.



what kind of person are you?

i'm a shithead.
i am fabulous.
i am wiggly.
i'm responsible.
i tend to bore.
i'm happy.


on a scale of 1-10, how much do you like being whipped? 1 = hate the whip, 10 = love the whip.

8
3
9
1
6
4



what's your favorite crime?

kidnapping
genocide
gang rape
assault
child molesting
suicide




what's your favorite continent?

australia. it is small.
europe. it is old.
africa. it is hot enough to be naked.
north america. it's where my present comes from.
antarctica. it's where my present should go.
asia. my present reminds me of anime.



choose an emoticon.

8-.
:-[]
(||)
:^)
:-(
:-D