what awful book are you?

as an english major, i was forced to read lots of books i hated. i was forced to read paradise lost 6 times. i have never really gotten through it.

anyway, i thought it would be fun to make a quiz about what bad book represents you. this offers no real insight. be warned.



pick a plot you like:

a hero kills a monster and is valiant!
an excursion into the dark jungle mirrors an excursion into the dark human soul
wealthy republican types quit their lives and watch the world go to shit
a weird little creature goes on a long adventure an encounters other weird little creatures
people are mysterious and no one really knows what's going on
author likes genocide


pick a setting you like:

england in the middle ages
africa
depression-era america
a fantasy world (or: "the sandy bowels of susan's cunt)
surreality
germany, 1942


why do people hate you?

i'm repetitive
i'm dense
i tend to oversimplify things
i talk a lot about things no one really cares about
i'm difficult to understand
i'm racist



if you were a book, who would most likely read you?

students in brit lit I (middle english to 1600)
a high school english class, junior year
overgrown teenagers who fancy themselves intellectual
dweebish types who call themselves nerds
hipsters, or a class on postmodernism
skinheads


how hated are you by most people, on a scale of one to ten?

3
5
4
2
6
10



what would make you WORSE?

if i were not translated out of my original language
a sequel
a higher frequency of the word "astonishment"
a movie based on me...oh.
if i were the other book my author wrote instead.
if i were highlighted. or autographed.


who wrote you?

no one knows
joseph conrad
a bitch!
a guy without a first name
a mysterious man with a severe overbite
a notorious villain



how have you adversely affected my life, besides merely sucking?

you had to read me for three classes!
you failed a multiple choice test on me in high school
i wasted so much of your time and ruined all books for you forevermore.
i made you angry the summer before 8th grade
i made you hate postmodernism
i'm all about killing people who are distantly related to you.